January 2010
18 posts
I'm not starting the conversation!!! It's you...
Stop Trying
When Mr. Awkward told me he knew I liked him, it was a one time conversation and we never talked of it again. So when The Latino said he liked me, I told him I wouldn’t make it awkward, but we had to move on from this. I’m pretty sure that includes not implying you still like me. I was totally fine with it that FIRST time. I still acted like his friend, and him feel comfortable,...
“Snooki said she was hiring a bodyguard to keep fans at bay. The 22-year-old...”
– ‘Jersey Shore’ cast wants big raise for season 2 - NYPOST.com (via rickyv)
What Causes A Breakdown
So, today during acting class I had a breakdown. I was up there reading my sonnet and I immediately began to shake. When my director had me lay on the ground it turned to my whole body trembling. I only tremble when I get scared, and that has been twice in my life: when a vaGINA claimed I raped her, and when people threatened to tell of my coming out before I could even embrace it. I started...
“For shame! deny that thou bear’st love to any,
Who for thyself art so...”
– William Shakespeare
I Need To Go Somewhere
I hate when men like me anymore because a lot of the time I don’t like them back. I have a tough time with men anymore, whether it’d be rejection or assholes shoved so far in the closet they don’t even know it. So! I’m done. I need to get on a plane and fly to Ischia for a week or two because I hate this shit. I need peace and solidarity, unless I know I can be happy here.
...
Thank You
This is a post dedicated to someone who actually took the time and wrote on my wall to express their appreciation for my post. And it made my day.
“trevor, that post was absolutely beautiful. i just wanted to say that i was so moved by it. as for the b flat situation, fuck ‘em. guys at my school would kill to reach notes that high, even me. werrrrk.it.mofo. :)”
I didn’t...
Today, my adventure at the Vo was that I found out...
espencor:
SCVTHS Presents An Evening of John Lennon and Paul McCartney
somewhere in May. So yeah, come and support, and hear your favorite Beatles tunes. :3
I don't want to go to sleep
Case in point: I have a deadbeat dad. No, he doesn’t hit me. No he doesn’t rape me. But I am his punching. I’m his go to man on a Friday when he’s so stressed out he needs someone to yel at. And of course, he can’t yell at Chippy. She’s too purty to chastise. Although, I would find it hilarious to know what she were to do with her life had she been chase. Back...
The Matter of Being An Individual
I keep seeing too many people who lose the sight of who they truly are because they’re afraid step away from their safety blanket. Straight and Mr. Awkward are the examples I’ve mentioned on here, one being afraid of coming out to what will help stay happy, and one is afraid to go against his friends’ standards and realize the potential in a person. But it’s okay. Because I...
A Sleep I Slept
Twas once I slept for years and years
I slept and slept without a twitch.
But only if they used their ears
Would they realize it was just a switch.
A switch to a life
That saw no need
To go ahead
Pretend, succeed.
For it was then that my heart opened.
And it was the one last time
That my heart was broken.
He then felt pain
Because then he knew.
I only wanted
To live with you.
If you're following me, be blessed
So, I came to find out today from a friend of mine that a wonderful and unloving cast member of mine told Mr. Awkward to read my Twitter and put the pieces together. That was right before he told me to stop liking him, but in a nice way. So, I’ve decided that no one that I write about in code name on here will I allow to follow me. I’m not letting my shit fly out again. This is my...
Why Men Lose Their Chance
Too many men have come and gone in the past 6 months. My six-month coming out anniversary is coming soon, the 11th to be exact. Tomorrow will be six months that I had “The Dream.” The dream was how I actually discovered I was gay. I had a dream featuring this one guy, who had the cutest laugh and prettiest smile. But was weird about this dream was that I had never thought about my...
I had a scare tonight.
As complicated as it is, I love my Nonna. I love her a lot. She bought me my plane ticket to Ischia, which I will be grateful for forever. That is the one place where I experienced true peace between myself and other people that weren’t my family. When I was younger, I used to have dinner with her every night. She’d make me some warm and comforting Italian dish, whether it be...
I've Never Heard of Such A Thing!
Here’s what really happened: I found this hot guy through my friend, CHINDIA. CHINDIA told me he hooked with an UGLY asian kid. I immediately thought of pulling ugly out of the closet, because well it’s time. He dresses better than me, and that’s rough, so we’ll call him STRAIGHT. So, in order to get the ball rolling with STRAIGHT I had to talk to him. So I did. It was...
“We were given: Two hands to hold. To legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to...”
My Type, Not Yours
I’m not settling for anything lower than what I feel I can accomplish. Ever. In anything I do. And that absolutely includes men. I will not seriously date someone who does not fit what I want or need. At the current time, three things must fit:
Age:
no one younger than me
can be my age, but can not go to my school
preferably older; I like high-school seniors who can drive
Height:...